It’s been two months since we moved. I can’t believe it! It seems like it’s been longer than two months. Now that the dust has settled I’ve been trying to reflect on the whole process. Moving is rough! I’m sure I don’t have to tell many of you this truth but moving your family to another state is something I have never experienced, so let me wallow in this moment.
First of all, moving day was the pits and I really have no desire to do it again. I realized the first lesson as I was standing in the new kitchen, shoulder deep in packed and unpacked boxes looking around wondering where all this stuff will go!
The things I’ve learned along this journey.
- I know this to be true about myself; I can accept change. When change presents itself, I accept it and move forward working down the path that is now my new adventure. However (and that’s a capitol HOWEVER), I learned that I don’t like transitional phases. I don’t like the settling phase after a change. In this case, after moving, I would love to possess the magical powers of Jeannie. Simple wiggle my nose and everything is in its place. But that’s not how this works. I can honestly tell you this piece has been the hardest part about moving. Where is the proper cabinet for spices (I made 6 exchange trips to the Container Store just trying new spice racks)? Where do you put your vacuum when there isn’t any closet space to store such a highly used appliance? See what I mean! First world problems I know, but having your “normal” life in disarray feels like the ball in a pinball game. In the end of the game though the ball always finds its way home.
- We’ve learned that communication is key (as if we didn’t know that already and I’ve talked about it in previous posts). Moving is challenging for yourself let alone adding in your partner and child. Then you add in a new commute schedule and our ‘normal’ time together went from 5-6 waking hours a day to 3! People told me before we moved it would be the best thing for our relationship; challenging yes, but very rewarding. Nick and I have had to take on heavier roles and yet maintain the core of our family. Being vulnerable (there’s a sexy word) about each other’s concerns and desires is very important and definitely something that we as a society tend to neglect. Vulnerability is something that is key to every relationship and during a big change it’s easy to shut down and turtle up.
- I’ve learned that social media, while time sucking, is the only way we can share our new life with our family and the friends that want to keep in touch. I really wasn’t that much of a sharer beyond the typical milestone moments but now I’ve become much more active and it’s requiring me to push myself outside my comfort zone.
- Ah ha, there was the golden nugget phrase, comfort zone. As an adult, it’s hard to make friends, let alone moving to a new town and starting fresh. The first week we were here, I went to a coffee shop hoping to see other Mommy’s with their littles. I was prepared to step to the plate and ask for friends. But there wasn’t anyone there. Same situation at parks. It’s a very vulnerable feeling having a conversation with a stranger and then asking for their number, almost like a blind date but with your kids. Weird! I like to think I’m likable but when you put yourself out there, who’s to say the recipient is going to feel the same. Luckily, we found a new CrossFit gym where we’ve begun to make friendships and are hopefully laying the foundation for future BBQ’s, birthdays, and many laughs, similar to what we once had.
Lastly, I’ve learned that my husband is my ultimate partner in this marathon called life. He’s driven, he’s intelligent, he’s compassionate, and most of all he’s present. So, when we do move again (hopefully not in the near future), I will buy more packing paper then I anticipate using. I will purge before we pack. And I will approach moving with a better understanding of the suck to come and the suck that will pass.
For those that have been along this journey with us and have been reading my blog, I miss you. I miss the genuine, familiar conversations we have together and I miss the hugs!
And for those new friends of ours, I can’t wait to engage in familiar conversations and get to know each other even deeper!